{"id":936,"date":"2013-05-19T07:17:37","date_gmt":"2013-05-19T07:17:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/?p=936"},"modified":"2013-05-20T06:55:21","modified_gmt":"2013-05-20T06:55:21","slug":"for-charlotte-sophie-beauford","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/?p=936","title":{"rendered":"for Charlotte, Sophie & Beauford."},"content":{"rendered":"

A Father\u2019s Guilt<\/strong><\/p>\n

Today I write the reasons why,<\/p>\n

these past twenty years I\u2019ve lived a lie.<\/p>\n

When I was as a soldier a \u201chero\u201d you saw,<\/p>\n

but I bore witness to killings galore.<\/p>\n

I chose not to tell you,<\/p>\n

and to hide my pain.<\/p>\n

I thought if I smiled,<\/p>\n

my strength might regain.<\/p>\n

But no,<\/p>\n

each day these past twenty years.<\/p>\n

I lived with my nightmares,<\/p>\n

My inner most fears.<\/p>\n

I guess everyone knows the Vic in the papers,<\/p>\n

of the he kids he once saved<\/p>\n

and his Olympic capers.<\/p>\n

But no one has heard of the atrocity & slaughter<\/p>\n

where so many were raped,<\/p>\n

both Mothers and Daughters.<\/p>\n

Where so many children by snipers were slaughtered.<\/p>\n

It was \u201995 in Sarajevo the place,<\/p>\n

when I lost faith in my God<\/p>\n

and the whole human race.<\/p>\n

So each day when I pray,<\/p>\n

\u201cLord\u2026 make them understand\u201d,<\/p>\n

why I went crazy in that far away land.<\/p>\n

The doctors and phsyco cannot understand,<\/p>\n

why I still dream of the far away land.<\/p>\n

I remember daily the horrors above,<\/p>\n

but I never forgot my Fatherly love.<\/p>\n

Even as my nightmares grow stronger,<\/p>\n

I still believe this illness I\u2019ll conquer.<\/p>\n

When I have beat it, as I hope I can do,<\/p>\n

One day your Father will be back home with you.<\/p>\n

The Dad you now know is not me you see,<\/p>\n

Your true Father suffers from ptsd.<\/p>\n

Copyright: \u00a0VF \u00a9 Vic Ferguson<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Father\u2019s Guilt Today I write the reasons why, these past twenty years I\u2019ve lived a lie. When I was as a soldier a \u201chero\u201d you saw, but I bore witness to killings galore. I chose not to tell you, and to hide my pain. I thought if I smiled, my strength might regain. But […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-936","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-my-poetry"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=936"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":945,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions\/945"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vicferguson.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}