Vic Ferguson

Two decades ago

As a Soldier I’ve been

To a place called Bosnia

I witnessed things there that were obscene

I go to that place in my mind every day

Hoping the memories will soon go away

I’ve been many times since

To face my fears

Knowing one day I will stand

Once more with pride

In Sarajevo, moj grad

and the ghosts of my past will one day subside

Twenty years now since this July

The 11^th it started

When those from Srebrenica

From their loved ones were parted

In the few days that followed

There took place a slaughter

That left one I loved

A Fatherless Daughter

For two decades now

I have followed God’s path

My memories and pain I know cannot last

Many times Lord now to you I have prayed

So once more I ask you

Please

“Show Me the Way”

My inner strength now I must find

To take control of my wandering mind.

VF©Vic Ferguson 30.06.2013

A Father’s Guilt

Today I write the reasons why,

these past twenty years I’ve lived a lie.

When I was as a soldier a “hero” you saw,

but I bore witness to killings galore.

I chose not to tell you,

and to hide my pain.

I thought if I smiled,

my strength might regain.

But no,

each day these past twenty years.

I lived with my nightmares,

My inner most fears.

I guess everyone knows the Vic in the papers,

of the he kids he once saved

and his Olympic capers.

But no one has heard of the atrocity & slaughter

where so many were raped,

both Mothers and Daughters.

Where so many children by snipers were slaughtered.

It was ’95 in Sarajevo the place,

when I lost faith in my God

and the whole human race.

So each day when I pray,

“Lord… make them understand”,

why I went crazy in that far away land.

The doctors and phsyco cannot understand,

why I still dream of the far away land.

I remember daily the horrors above,

but I never forgot my Fatherly love.

Even as my nightmares grow stronger,

I still believe this illness I’ll conquer.

When I have beat it, as I hope I can do,

One day your Father will be back home with you.

The Dad you now know is not me you see,

Your true Father suffers from ptsd.

Copyright:  VF © Vic Ferguson