A Father’s Guilt
Today I write the reasons why,
these past twenty years I’ve lived a lie.
When I was as a soldier a “hero” you saw,
but I bore witness to killings galore.
I chose not to tell you,
and to hide my pain.
I thought if I smiled,
my strength might regain.
But no,
each day these past twenty years.
I lived with my nightmares,
My inner most fears.
I guess everyone knows the Vic in the papers,
of the he kids he once saved
and his Olympic capers.
But no one has heard of the atrocity & slaughter
where so many were raped,
both Mothers and Daughters.
Where so many children by snipers were slaughtered.
It was ’95 in Sarajevo the place,
when I lost faith in my God
and the whole human race.
So each day when I pray,
“Lord… make them understand”,
why I went crazy in that far away land.
The doctors and phsyco cannot understand,
why I still dream of the far away land.
I remember daily the horrors above,
but I never forgot my Fatherly love.
Even as my nightmares grow stronger,
I still believe this illness I’ll conquer.
When I have beat it, as I hope I can do,
One day your Father will be back home with you.
The Dad you now know is not me you see,
Your true Father suffers from ptsd.
Copyright: VF © Vic Ferguson